2016 End of Year Review

Holy schmokes. 2016 was a bit rapid, eh. I mean I know everybody says it but this year really greased by. Let’s take a look at some of the trends…

Another year, another year at the top for pints. They absolutely smashed it. Two-thirds came close but pints still has it by a hair. Halves are over though, I mean come on, two-thirds is the measure the half wishes it was. Pints #1, Two-thirds honourable mention. Shout out to 1/3 too for rocking that 10% beer stage ~ a seminal serving of the stronger stuff.

Smashed it. If it’s any other bread we almost don’t want to know. What do you know about yeast culture, friend? We toasted it, we smited avocado upon thine chest, we ate it with aplomb. It was almost too great. Sourdough can’t continue speeding at this rate though. We expect it to pull up for a pitstop while some other style of bread overtakes it in 2017. They had sourdough crumpets in Co-Op the other day. Expect KFC and McDonalds to jump on that sourdough train in 2017. Its days at the top are numbered.

Smashed it.

Smashed it in one sitting. If you weren’t there in the first few days then you were just playing catch-up. Have you seen Stranger Things? I don’t rate Stranger Things. I do rate Stranger Things. If you didn’t post about it on facebook then you didn’t exist.

Smashed it to f*ck.

So many breweries smashed juice in their beers this year. We’re not complaining. If it doesn’t look like fruit juice then it’s not a beer anymore. Excuse me, have you got any juicy IPAs? Well, we’ve got this IPA by ________. HOW JUICY IS IT? HOW DANK? A PINT OF JUICY PLEASE, DANK YOU VERY MUCH. Excuse me, I CAN see through my pint – can you change it, please. I want zero visibility. I want to be on the motorway in tropical fog.  Ooh it didn’t taste its percentage did it? That was almost TOO drinkable wasn’t it? That was very drinkable for a drink. Things are only going to get juicier in 2017. Expect Capri-Sun craft collabs and more.

OMG I can’t believe brunch, as a concept, only came out in the UK in March of this year. Smashed it. Remember when you used to see brunch on movies/Sex and the City and think ew, what the f*ck is that? That’s such an elite gross upper echelon vapid concept, you said. Just eat cornflakes for BREAKFAST like the rest of us. What is this 11.30am lazy poached egg lifestyle? Now look at you, you dirty boy, you’re absolutely mopping it up with your sourdough. All day breakfast RIP. Brunch springs eternal. We expect no derailing of the brunch train in 2017. Full steam ahead.

Posted in Nonsense